Where God leads you in life is a wild adventure day after day.Exhilarating, painful, joyful, exciting, fun, tearful and emotional but blissful. I just experienced a childhood dream, never spoken out loud, just in my soul. Humbling and not quite processed.
I have always been an in charge child, and women. When I see a project, a problem or an opportunity, I go full steam ahead, not truly aware of God's "Blue print". Did I take a look at it? I only knew "It" needed to be done. I did not look at the present moment to appreciate what He had laid out before me in His light. I ran up ahead and climbed the mountain of the task at hand, many times in a fog of flurry and excitement. With these actions, comes frustration, false feelings of power, control, success. This happens because I so want to please Him and I am in such need of humanly defined success. My pastor helped me define success of this crazy trip to Haiti without my family. We decided success was just going. No predefined goals to be met ..really no clear agenda. Not the definition from the world that I know
What I have learned is that God does not ask His children to climb Mt. Everest in the storm, without clearing and preparing the way. He provides enough light to see the path laid out for the moment, not necessarily to see the whole mountain. He knows that we cannot handle the whole picture of the task, only what is lit at that time by His Light. He does not over work his children to the point of complete exhaustion and chaos, worry nor confusion. The world does this so we can feel their defined success.
I serve a God of order, peace and love. I have learned that saying yes to Him, this is success. I do not have to have every link of the plan orchestrated since He already does. I have learned that we are a very small part in His very large plan. If I say yes to just one link in His plan, then I have faith that He takes care of the rest.
Each day God brought new opportunities to love the people of Haiti:
From buying a "tent city" child's creation of a bracelet out of old electrical wires;
to cheering on a young man playing his heart out in a soccer game with a ripped ball and no shoes;
to giving money to a child asking for help to purchase books to be educated;
to giving to a child without food who falls asleep in class due to hunger;
to giving a shoe shiner a bible;
to placing a blanket over a worker who has fallen asleep on a swing;
to smiling at a women holding a newborn baby;
to providing a water filter system to a village;
to listening to dreams of the young and the old for their children;
to praying over aged women who lost their entire family in the earthquake and another women who lost all 9 children to disease;
to praying with a young women who was a slave since childhood;
to showing a camera to village children with their picture on it, something they have never seen; to holding an orphan toddler who was brought to church by a neighbor girl;
to smiling, hugging, looking into the eyes of so many broken but strong faithful children of God.
A country with unbearable pain, hardships, difficulties too enormous to put into words.. We go to offer hope in Christ.We go to spend time with them, to listen and to love. Our presence in relationships cannot be underestimated, Jesus spent all his time with His people,side by side listening and preaching. Transforming people with love, love never fails, love bears all things, the "greatest of these is love".
Floating through Haiti watching for opportunities to love.
Home oh so quiet, my ears hurt from the stillness. Processing all that has happened over the course of 2 weeks,it overwhelms my brain, my soul and heart.
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